The way that he has assumed his role as husband has stunned me. I didn't really know what to expect of our relationship changing once we said "I do", but I truly do feel as though our relationship is completely different. He leads, he serves, he protects, he comforts. He has been such an amazing example of Christ to me in these few days and now I can't even fathom falling asleep anywhere but right beside him.
I'm not quite ready to share all that has been going on in our hearts lately about big, life things but this week has been particularly tough. I find myself just wanting to lay face first on the ground and sob as I beg God to make the way in the wilderness clear. It's a funny thing, thinking you have your life figured out. Then God decides to remind you that it's about Him. It was never about me and my comfort, but about Him and His glory. As I've already cried and he's already comforted, as we've prayed, and as we've discussed I'm so thankful for this marriage relationship the Lord has built. Now, I have a partner. I have a built in encourager. I have the biggest prayer warrior. I have someone who is going to walk this Jesus Road with me. Even though this season of questioning isn't really fun, I'm so thankful to have a husband by my side who prays and seeks and desires the Lord with me. We get to experience struggles together now. And in sort of a weird way, it's been beautiful.
Marriage is real life. Marriage is the laughs and the fun and the sex (sorry family. I really did just say that.), but it's also the hard decisions, the struggles, and the exhaustion. Marriage is all of it. And, girls, it doesn't wait until year two. I don't want to paint this picture that marriage is Eden. That my life is now complete and perfect because I now have a Mr. YES, marriage has been amazing and wonderful and sweet and exhilarating. But, real life still happens. Jesus still stretches. Jesus still calls... even when we thought we had heard his calling already.
This is it. This is real life. And my heart is so full knowing that I get to share these moments with a man I get to call my husband.
These are the marriage diaries.