Thursday, January 31, 2013

on student teaching


Watching the sunrise on the way to school one morning

After today I'll have 8 days of student teaching under my belt.  Already, this has proven to be one of the most testing experiences of my life.  Everyday my faith is questioned.  

Can I do this?  
Do I love the kids as much as I should?  
Can I show these students how passionate I am?  
Is this what the Lord has for me?  
How do I passionately teach and passionately love and raise a family?  
What's after this, Lord?

I'll be really honest and say that faith is something I've struggled with since day one of this experience.  I wake up every morning with unbelief in my heart and every morning I've had to say, "Okay, Lord.  Today is Your day.  Show me purpose today.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know that you hold it.  And I trust you today." 

Every morning.  Every morning I have to pray that the Lord would break me of my unbelief.  And every day my faith is strengthened just a little bit.  I love that the Lord is faithful in his pursuit of me.  I may have days where I struggle with trusting and believing, but I know that when I open my hands and give him my plans and my desires He will fill me with himself.

As much as student teaching has stretched my faith, it's also been the biggest joy.  I wake up in the mornings and head into a classroom full of sweet and loveable 8 years olds.  They walk in with their big smiles and open arms and they just want to be loved and know that they matter.  I love being their cheerleader and their mentor.  I love being their teacher.  

Do I know where I'll be after this?  No.  Do I know how the Lord is going to move in my heart through this experience?  No.  Do I know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be?  Yes.  Do I know that I'm in the middle of the Lord's will waiting on Him to lead me into the next step?  Absolutely.  

I can trust and I can have faith because I know that the Lord will never forget me.  I can trust and I can have faith because I know that the Lord is faithful.  I can trust and I can have faith because I know that in the midst of my questioning I can be a light for Christ in someone else's life.  And that's all that matters.

Are you struggling with trust?  Do you constantly ask God "What's next?"  Do you fear the unknown? Rest in His presence today.  Know that the Lord has a plan for you today.  Know that you can be a light for Jesus today.  

I love you, gal.

Come back tomorrow to find out the winner of the Scentsy giveaway!  Sponsorships will officially be offered tomorrow, too!  It'll be unlike any sponsorships you've ever seen and I'm just so ready to jump into it.  Together we are a force for good.  Catch y'all tomorrow!

8 comments:

Anne588 said...

Teaching is so much more complex than most people think. I love your attitude...and the photo.

Lauren said...

Girl, you are so inspirational. I just know that God is going to bless every effort you put forth for teaching. There are days that I still wonder (2years in) if this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life!

hang in there, sister! :)

Amanda aka Manda said...

Hang in there! I know you are an amazing teacher. Remember that as blessed as you are to have those kids in your class, they are just as blessed to have you as a teacher. I know it's trying, but like you said, trust that the Lord has an amazing plan for you!

Elle said...

I have definitely been struggling with trusting God lately. He continues to remind me that He has it under control (sometimes in ways like reading your sweet post) and I need just to live in His light.

Thanks for the reminder & I'm sure those little kids adore you. My baby brother is 8 and would probably think you were the sweetest teacher ever.

Valerie Griffin said...

i know it is tough and exhausting...but before you know it you will be finished & a college grad! YOU CAN DO IT, NICOLE!

Melissa said...

I'm glad it's going well! Teaching takes a special person and I know you'll be great!

Megan Chapman said...

You don't realize just how much I needed this today! Teaching seniors is honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done! First block is planning period and everyday I get out my bible and read. Especially for the main purpose of, "am I really supposed to teach and did God put me here for this?" I'm almost a year in and wake up feeling the same way every morning! Keep the faith, girly! We will get through this together. Thankful for you!!!

Suzanne said...

Teaching is tough...and so much different than what they tell you in school. There are definitely mornings I wake up and wonder if I can make it through. It is so draining - physically and emotionally. One habit I've made this year is to walk around and pray over my kids as they do their morning work. It completely changes my attitude. :)

Your students are lucky to have a teacher who cares so much. Have a great Friday!!

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