A few weeks ago I posted about Making Things Happen in 2013 and I'm so glad that I've been following along with Lara Casey's steps to making 2013 the best year yet. I've thought a lot about my goals and the steps I have to take in order to reach them. The word that constantly comes to mind when I'm meditating over my goals is "boundaries". Now that I'm days away from becoming Tyler's wife, (49 days, y'all) I've thought about how important boundaries will be in our marriage. And I haven't been very good at boundaries. Blogging has gotten me into a lot of bad habits. I check my twitter when we're sitting on the couch. I scroll through my Instagram feed when we're driving in the car together. I read blog during the commercials of our favorite shows. I'm constantly distracted. I'm not giving undivided attention. Everything revolves around the fact that I have to keep up with all these different social medias in order to be a "good" blogger.
This is just.not.true.
I've gotten this whole process wrong. Social media shouldn't be a distraction or something that I keep up with "just because I should". But, I should use social media to be an encouragement to others and to be encouraged by others. I should use social media to enhance my life, not to take away from it. How does that play out? Well, I unfollow unnecessary twitter accounts like people who are negative all the time or people who consistently post ugly things about others. I use Instagram when I want to share something truly meaningful or encouraging, NOT because I feel that everyone should know what I'm up to every second of every weekend. I use Facebook to encourage others, not to bash on other people's pictures or status updates. I've got to learn how to use social media wisely before I can even begin to think about boundaries. If I don't have the right attitude towards Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, I'll never be able to create boundaries that really matter. I have to realize that social media isn't necessary, but it can be useful and encouraging. Once I really get that through this thick skull of mine, I can begin to think about boundaries.
Boundaries are going to be important to me because I want to truly invest in my marriage. I will student teach at an "early" school which means that we start early and get out early. I'll be able to have two-ish hours at home before Tyler comes home from work. That will be the time to do some school work, respond to emails, write blog posts, and scroll through my social media feeds. That will be "my" time where I can really enjoy all the blogging things that I love. Once Ty comes home I want to shut off my computer, put away my phone, and focus on him. I want to invest my time, my attention, and my thoughts towards him. No, this doesn't mean that I've never look at my phone past 5:30 PM, but that does mean that it won't be connected to me 24/7. That does mean that I'm going to miss some of your twitter updates. That does mean that I'm not going to "like" every picture you post on Instagram. And that's okay. Even though I truly love sharing my life with you and following along with all of YOUR life happenings, I never want my computer or my phone to keep me from truly living. I never want to miss an opportunity with my husband because I had my nose buried in my iPhone. I don't want to stay in bad habits now and teach my children that their iPhones are more important than real life, face to face chats.
I want to love social media. I want to use social media. Heck, I want to keep using Instagram because I love it! But, I want to do it in the right way. I want to use it, not abuse it. I want to reach all my goals this year and I don't want my computer or my phone to be a distraction. I want to begin my marriage with a bang because I'm choosing to cherish it over social media. That may seem silly to some of you, but our culture is so tech savvy that many couples don't even have dinner together without their phones on the table with them. I don't want to follow along with that trend. I want Tyler to know that I cherish our relationship enough to shut off all other avenues to "the world" just to spend time with him. I want my relationship with the Lord and my relationship with my husband always to come first.
Starting this weekend, I'm going work on less social media and more goal reaching. We are headed to Arkansas to spend the weekend with our best friends and I'll be logging off Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for the weekend. I won't be checking my emails or my blog feed. I'll strictly be living in the moment that I'm in. And, gasp, I may even take real pictures with my DSLR! Whoa, dream big!
I'm looking forward to disconnecting this weekend and really praying through the boundaries the Lord wants me to set. I can't wait to see how the Lord changes my life because I decide to take away some distractions. Boundaries, here I come.
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And just because every Friday needs a some happy pictures, here are some images of Bella when she was just a little baby. I found them on an old camera card this week and I just can't quit looking at them. No, I don't have baby fever, but I sure do have puppy fever. Maybe Ty will let us add another baby to the Cole family in 2013?
And just for fun, here is a picture that Ty posted on Instagram... SO hilarious that she still sleeps the same way!
The puppy fever is bad, y'all.
What kind of boundaries do you have when it comes to social media?
Share your thoughts!
11 comments:
Loving this post! One of my New Year's goals was to put away the phone when my husband gets home from work. I too was spending commercial breaks, car rides, etc. on the phone checking social media. I agreed with every word you said and have the same feeling towards social media now. It has been nice to put away the phone and cuddle/talk with my husband at night. And he has really appreciated it. I find that if I put the phone in another room I don't get tempted to check it. Great goal and good luck! Enjoy your long wkend before you start student teaching! :)
great post!
& loooove those puppy pics :)
Great post. Love the puppy! I'll confess that I am increasingly more attached to my phone and iPad then I want to be. To be fair though, my husband also spends nearly every night with his hobbies so I don't really feel like I'm leaving his as a social media widower. On the other hand, I do make a point of spending regular time with him that doesn't involve my phone/blog/iPad.
Great post! I too am going to try and live in the "real world" this weekend while my parents come to visit! Thanks for inspiring me to go a little further/try a little harder!
Great post, girl! I think as bloggers we all face the struggle with "keeping up" and "staying in the loop." I have also found myself scrolling through my feeds when I am with Brian and that isn't fair. I have made the conscious effort to stay off my phone when we are together, especially because we're in a LDR so our time is precious.
I think we all need to take time to get away from social media once in a while- it can be overwhelming!!
thanks for posting! Needed to read it :)
Okay, I need to do this. Going to be a challenge, but one I should definitely take! Not gonna say I can't go on all weekend, but definitely will limit :)
This is so true in my life as well! I need to invest in the people around me instead of liking Instagram pics, which you know I love!
I appreciate your heart & honesty. Sometimes I have a hard time admitting I'm on my iPhone/iPad/computer too much & get defensive about it rather than taking a step back and admitting that I am. My husband travels 3 nights a week so it's especially important to actually BE with him when he is home. Thank you for your inspiration...it was just the eye opener I needed :)
www.onlythepicture.blogspot.com
This is an awesome post! I was just convicted of this recently and took a social media break for a week. It really helped me to regroup and figure out why I am doing what I'm doing. LIke you said, I don't want my kids to grow up thinking my phone is more important to me than they are....no way! Or my husband to think that! I don't have twitter at all so that helps, but I find I just grab for my phone immediately during any 'down' time or when I'm bored. Taking breaks really helps me sometimes to remember what's important and that social media is just social media-real life is more important ;)
Wow, what a great post, Nicole! I really enjoyed reading it. I was nodding in agreement with everything you said regarding social media. Often times, it's easy to get distracted and not use it with a purpose. I am guilty of that as well. It's especially important to unplug and focus on your relationships with others while you are able. I am guilty of not doing that fully too. Thank you for the reminder! xo
So. I really need to read this. So many times Josh and I focus on our stupid phones more the each other, and those are the times we get annoyed with one another or get frustrated. Thanks for sharing your heart! It really gave me a wake up call! Love you friend!!!
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