Tuesday, July 10, 2012

how to pray for your boyfriend

I wanted to get this post written before my boyfriend turned into my fiancĂ©, but it seems that I didn't get it posted quick enough!  While I am so excited to be engaged, I think it would be foolish to completely forget all that I learned while we were dating because there is still so much that I can take with me in this next season of my life and there is so much that I can share with YOU.  

Back in March I wrote THIS post where I prayed for my boyfriend before his first big job interview.  I noticed that this post kept getting substantial traffic, even months after.  That post was written more for me personally, so I was intrigued as to why so many people were reading it.  I did a little research and found that many had reached my page by googling "how to pray for your boyfriend".  Sadly, I don't think they really got the answer they were looking for because mine was simply a prayer, not a guide on how to pray for your boyfriend.  Today, I thought that I would give my insight on how to pray for your boyfriend for any of you google searchers out there.

For the most part, I prayed for four things:  his relationship with Christ, his leadership, his friendships, and his witness.

1.  Pray for his relationship with Christ.

By far, this was the most important thing that I prayed for.  As a believer, the bible warns us from being in relationship with someone who is unequally yoked.  2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers.  How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?  How can light live with darkness." But, not only are we to steer clear of relationships with non-believers, God also speaks strongly about being a "lukewarm" Christian; a Christian who is neither on fire for Christ or denouncing who He is.  A "lukewarm" Christian is a Christian who may talk the talk, but is far from walking the walk.  In Revelation 3:15-16 God says, "I know all the things you (He's talking to the Church of Laodicea here) do, that you are neither hot nor cold.  I wish that you were one or the other!  But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!"  Those are some strong words that the Lord uses there and being a "Christian" who truly doesn't belong to Christ and obey Him is in a rough spot.  As Tyler's girlfriend, I prayed that he would never have a lukewarm relationship with Christ.  I prayed for his passion and his devotion to Christ no matter the circumstance and I prayed that he would have a heart open to the Holy Spirit's conviction.  I prayed a lot that his desire to know Christ more would grow, that he would not be content to have a "Sunday School" understanding of who Christ is, but genuinely seek the face of Christ daily.  

2.  Pray that he would build leadership qualities.

In a marriage, the husband is the head of the wife (Eph. 5:23).  (Read my post on submission HERE)  With that, comes great responsibility.  Paul goes on to compare the husband's leadership over his wife to the leadership Christ has over the Church.  That's BIG shoes for a husband to fill.  As a girlfriend, I began praying that Tyler would really begin to understand the role that he would have one day and desire to become a leader like Christ calls him to.  No, it wasn't his job to lead me yet and it wasn't my job to submit to him, but it was important to me that I pray for his growth in leadership.  The more that the Lord teaches him about leadership before marriage, the more he is going to be able to be a leader like Christ has called him to be.  

3.  Pray for his friendships.

Pray that your boyfriend would have good, Godly friends.  The Lord never intended for us to walk through life alone and having relationships with other believers is so critical to our own growth.  It seems "easier" for women to come together to do bible studies, pray, and just fellowship with one another.  For men, or at least young men, it's not as easy.  I think (personal opinion) it's because so many younger men are not stepping up and being men of Christ.  PRAY FOR OUR MEN, ladies!  It is so important that we continue to pray for the men in our lives.  Not that they would achieve the American Dream and be the most successful men, but that they would live lives that are Godly and pleasing to the Lord.  Friendships and accountability are so important (especially when you're in a dating/ engaged relationship.  We NEED to have accountability with others... even if you think you don't struggle physically). (Proverbs 11:14) Pray that HE would be a Godly friend and that he would have Godly friendships.  

4.  Pray for his witness.

Our guys have people watching them, whether they know it or not.  Co-workers, employers, family, friends...  the list goes on.  We are given incredible opportunities every day to live out our life for Christ everyday.  Pray that your boyfriend would be faithful to live his life in a way that is pleasing to God.  Pray that he would be bold and take hold of the moments when he has the choice to stand up against what the world says and stand up for what the Word of God says.  (Eph. 6:19-20)


Even though we're past the dating stage of our life I still pray for these things for Tyler.  A few extra things have started to slip in here and there, but I'll save that for a later post.  As the leading ladies in our guys lives, we have such an incredible blessing and obligation to pray for these men.  Prayer is powerful, girlfriend.  Don't miss out on your opportunity to be a part of the work the Lord wants to do in your boyfriend's life. 


These are just a few ways that I have prayed for Tyler... share how YOU pray for you boyfriend.  We can all use the encouragement!

18 comments:

Kristin said...

Such great thoughts here Nicole. Especially the part about praying that your man finds good godly friends. Although we've been married for some time, my husbands friendships have played a key role in our relationship. They encourage him and challenge him in his leadership, they help keep him accountable, and encourage him to share EVERYTHING with me. I am so grateful for his friends.- - - What an exciting time in your life right now! Congratulations on your engagement! :-) LOVE your ring. So beautiful, and so, so special too! My engagement was my husbands great, great grandmothers, and although I don't know the story behind it, I do know her name was Sarah. Which is my middle name. And it is such a precious heirloom that means the world to me! All the best Nicole!

alliespence. said...

Oh this is so beautiful thank you! I'm single but I think a lot about how I can pray for my future bf and husband!

Sarah Rogers said...

Truly encouraging, thank you so much Nicole :)

Sarah
sweetnessoflaughter.blogspot.com

Mariel Collins said...

What a great post! Thank you for sharing!

Katlin Schimpf said...

Thank you so much for sharing! Such an encouragement! :)

Lauren Haupert said...

I love this post! Thank you so much for sharing :) It's so important to pray for your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. Your insight is inspiring!

Elle said...

love this. I really appreciate this post because it is something to think about. thanks girl for such thoughtful words.

Rachel said...

You are such a precious lady! He sure is lucky to have you by his side. Thank you for this!!

Lydia Criss Mays said...

This is a great post. I love reading The Power of a Praying Wife - maybe you need to pitch a new book to the publishing company. You have something so important and inspiring here. :)

Happy seeing beautiful!
http://seeabeautifulworld.blogspot.com/

Samantha Shepherd said...

Even though I single, I pray for my future boyfriend/husband every day. This helps to make my prayers more specific. So glad you wrote this!

Kaitlin said...

Thank you for writing this. I always forget how important it is to pray for your boyfriend / future husband. Your post really inspired me to keep doing this!

crystal said...

Thanks for sharing this

Jazmen Henderson said...

This is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you for being lead by the Holy Spirit to share the good news with other Christians. I appreciate you God Bless you and your relationships :)

Blaise said...

I love your blog, and this post is so sweet. My boyfriend just started his job search and scored a second interview with a great job. He'd be moving across the country if he got the job, but I'm finding more peace with it every day as I pray and your words are so encouraging :)

Glory Mejia said...

Nicole,

I stumbled upon your blog about a week ago through friends of friends who was following your #areadyheart posts on Instagram. Ever since I found your blog, I cannot describe how inspiring it has been. I have been a Christian all of my life and have aspired to build a deep, meaningful relationship with the Lord. I wanted to reach out to you and let you know how absolutely inspiring your posts are. Like, I cannot stop reading them. I have been in a drought lately with reading the word of God and finding your blog has reminded me of how fruitful my life is when I include him every single day. Not only have I found this entire blog completely inspiring, you have also inspired me to start keeping a journal to assist me in studying the word and to start my own blog (b/c it looks so fun!). I believe the Lord meant for me to find your blog because he knew I had lost my way from him and I needed to find my way back. Keep on preachin' his word girl and letting his light shine through you because you are truly an inspiration.

Olivia said...

This was so encouraging. I don't even know how to put it into words. I am so thankful you took the time to post this, because the truth is we do have an important role in their lives "at such a time as this." It's often hard to see the purpose and/or point of a dating season, but I truly believe the Lord has given us this time to grow us and sanctify us individually and together, and what better way to care for him than to pray for him. And I'm just so thankful for your specifics- his relationship with the Lord, leadership characteristics, Gospel-centered friendships, and his sharing of the Gospel through his life. Spot-on. Because of your post, I was spurred to Christ and to lift my boyfriend in prayer this morning for quite some time. Really thankful for that. So much grace. Thank you!

Gennean said...

Just came across this post and love it, Nicole! Thanks for sharing so much of your wisdom here.

Egurl4God said...

Wow. Exactly what I needed to hear. I've been praying asking God to speak to me to guide me in my first real relationship. I'm so confused and I'm getting list in what to think and do. I'm feeling pressure from all sides to make a decision whether to stay together or separate. I love him very much. I'm just now beginning to think about all these qualities, thoughts and goals a christian man should have. We are nothing 25 and believers but my spiritual growth seems to be at a higher level. I know he loves The Lord. I prayed for him just now. That he would be open to gods word in his life everyday and grow as a leader.

I,m trying to give this to God but my mind is racing.