ablaze: on dating

I am so glad that Annie asked me to be a part of this “Ablaze” series because I know that I have a long way to go when it comes to pursuing Christ.  So, I will start off saying this…

I am not perfect.

My relationship with Jesus is not perfect.

My relationship with Tyler is not perfect.

And I do not combine all those relationships perfectly.

Actually, I have done a pretty terrible job of pursing Christ while also being in a dating relationship.  It’s been a roller coaster of ups and downs for me but, thank you Jesus, He never throws in the towel on me.  So, please, know that everything I have to say comes from a girl who hasn’t “reached it” yet.  I am still very much on a journey to learning how to pursue Christ while also being in the midst of a wonderful dating relationship.  The things I have to say are just things that I have learned along the way.  Don’t forget to link-up on Friday so you can share what YOU have learned.  No matter if you’re single, dating, or married!

How I pursue Christ in my dating relationship…

1.  Commit to a daily quiet time. (Psalm 1:2, Psalm 119:11)

I will not be so legalistic to say that you can ONLY have a “quiet time” with the Lord in the morning, but I do highly suggest it.  In my opinion and in my experience if you don’t begin the day with talking to the Lord and being in His word, then odds are you aren’t going to do much of it during the day either.  This time with the Lord is important for for in my relationship because it gives me time that I can 100% devote to the Lord.  Being unmarried, I don’t wake up next to Tyler so I have the mornings completely to myself in my room.  That’s a treasure, girls!  Spending that time with Him before the day starts allows me to lay down myself to Him and pray for strength over temptation.  And I promise you, if you’re in a dating relationship there NEEDS to be time spent in prayer over temptation.  Sadly, not a one of us is exempt from temptation.  But, we can stand up against it when are covered in the armor of the Lord (Gal. 5).

2.  Find an accountability partner. (Proverbs 27:17, James 5:16, Galatians 6:1-2) 

Girls, I cannot stress the important of having an accountability partner enough.  Some of the hardest times I’ve had in my relationship could have been avoided or nipped in the bud sooner if I had had an accountability partner who truly invested in me.  When is it easiest to stay in sin?  When you don’t have someone asking you the hard questions.  For you girls in a relationship, it is so vital to have an accountability partner so someone knows the boundaries you’ve set in your relationship (Physically, emotionally, etc.) 

3.  Find a good church. (Acts 20:28)

One of the BEST things that has happened to me in the past 6 months is finding a church that I really feel a part of.  We joined a church in January and have been involved ever since.  We are a part of a small group, we serve, and we have formed relationships with the people there.  For me, this has personally done so much for my walk with Jesus.  The body of Christ is important, girls, and I took it lightly for far too long.  There IS growth when you’re a part of a growing body.  This has been especially helpful to me and Tyler because it has given us a place to come together with other couples who love Jesus and learn from them.  We are now both involved in discipleship with a couple we’ve come to love and I am so grateful!  Us finding a church that we both feel like we “belong” to has been one of the biggest blessings!

4.  Remember the truths.

Remember that your boyfriend will NEVER be able to complete you.  Not when he gets a bigger, better job.  Not when he gets down on one knee and asks you to marry him.  Not when you plan your “perfect” wedding.  Not when he becomes your husband.  No matter what that sweet boyfriend of yours does, he will never be enough to fill that part of your soul that somehow longs for more.  The only one who can completely fill us completely, satisfy us fully, and be everything we’ll ever need is the One who laid down His life for You.  He loves you more than any man ever will and He has pursued you harder than you could possibly know.  When we remember that He alone can satisfy us then we can take pressure off those sweet guys of ours, keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, and have relationships that honor the Lord.

Remember who you belong to.  Remember who will always, always be singing over you.

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

You can keep a fiery pursuit of Christ in the midst of your relationship by keeping Jesus first.  Because He delighted in you first.  And He pursued you first.  And He loved you first.  And He will sing over you forever.