Monday, January 26, 2015

PROGRESSIVE GROWTH

I’ve been studying Romans for the past several weeks and let me just tell you that if you don’t want to feel uncomfortable or convicted then STAY AWAY from Romans.  Every single sentence, every single verse, points to the gospel.  I have been so challenged and so convicted over the past several weeks.  The Lord begun to sin questions in my mind about my life and my witness.  I’m in several very “transitional” phases in life and I know I haven’t been completely obedient through these specific seasons the Lord has me in.  I’m faithful in some areas, disobedient in others.  We talked about hypocrisy for a little while at community group last night and my heart was just so broken over the areas of my life that don’t represent Christ.  I feel like I have such a unique platform here on the internet and I don’t doubt for one second that every bit of this is the Lord’s doing.  When someone comes to this page I want them to see someone who loves and longs for Jesus.  I don’t want them to see someone who knows all the answers or someone who always has an hour long quiet time with deep revelations.  I want them to see someone who repents of her sin, is broken over her selfish desires, and someone who is transparent with the hard things.  No, I don’t think I have to share every tiny sin or mistake, but I don’t ever want to paint a picture of perfection here.  When someone sees me at the grocery store or in my library at school or working a wedding or sees a post on instagram I want them to see my God.  I don’t want the fame or the glory.  I don’t want people to look at me, I want people to look at him.  I want my walk with the Lord to be visible in all aspects of my life.  I’ve struggled a lot over the past week with this idea.  Can I continue to post scripture on instagram or my blog if I’m at odds with my husband or have a bad attitude at work?  Can I share all of these things if I have areas of my heart that are less than glorifying to God?  My heart struggles with the answers to these questions.  On the one hand, YES.  I’m going to continue to fall prey to my own selfish desires, but I can be honest about that and share my journey.  On the other hand, NO.  If my life is not consistently pointing others to Jesus than my words and my posts mean nothing.  If my life isn’t a representation of the gospel, why will someone believe me when I start to audibly share the gospel with them?  This morning I was reading the first few verses of Romans 6 and Paul is talking about how our fleshly selves were crucified with Christ and we no longer live as slaves to sin.  My ESV commentary said this, “ Paul does not argue that Christians do not sin at all, instead, the tyranny, domination, and rule of sin have been defeated for them.  This means that the normal pattern of life for Christians should be progressive growth in sanctification, resulting in ever greater maturity and conformity to God;s moral law in thought and action.”

While I’ll continue to sin until the day Jesus comes back, my life should be characterized by progressive growth in sanctification.  Repentance.  Brokenness over sin.  I’ll never be “done”.  I’ll never reach that milestone that allows me to stop trying because I’ll just “get it”.  Jesus will be sanctifying me until my very last day.  I want my life to be characterized by a genuine desire to love and honor Jesus with a passion for sharing the gospel.  I want the Lord to use this space here on the internet to turn hearts towards Him.  But, I know there are other areas of my life where I’ve been given influence just like I’ve been given here.  I have to be obedient to that, too.  I know that the Lord wants to really work some things out of me before I’ll really come back to this space.  I want you to see Jesus here.  I don’t want you to ever look to me and think that somehow I’ve figured it all out.  That could not be farther from the truth.  My desire is for the Lord to continue to cut things out of my life that are of the flesh so that I can have more of Him.

Friday, January 16, 2015

NEW BEGINNINGS

Is January over yet?  This is by far my least favorite month.  I hate the bitter cold, the always dark skies, and the sadness that yes, another holiday season has yet again come and gone in a blur.  Not to mention we started the month packing boxes upon boxes so that we could move out of our very first home.  Here we are, at January 16th, and I’m just now starting to feel like a normal human again.  My routine is almost back to normal and I’ve just about figured out where all our belongings are.  Some sweet, sweet friends of ours offered their upstairs to us.  So, now we share a house with some of our greatest friends and it has been so fun thus far.  As we prepare to build a house, this is an incredible blessing to us.  Houses aren’t free, you know!

Oh yes, we’re building a house!


This very plot of land will one day (Lord-willing not too many months from now) have a sweet little house on it that we’ll have the joy of calling home.  One of these days I’m going to sit down and write about our journey from listing to selling and all the in-betweens because it’s been so good and God has shown His face a lot to us through this.  It’s humbling to see “my plan” and the things “I wanted” and how the Lord does His own thing and I’m left a little embarrassed over my selfishness and completely in awe of His love and provision over me.  I’m so thankful for this little lot and all that will happen here.  I’m excited to watch the process and for the Lord to refine me in a season of waiting.  The Lord is going to do big, big things in my heart.  I just know it.  

I’m so thankful for a few square feet of space in Megan and Phillip’s upstairs.  I think this is really going to be a defining point in our marriage and in our lives as we are forced to live more simply and do life differently.  I know we have some challenges ahead, but I am eager and excited to see what the Lord will do!






(you NEED a bouquet watercolor from Sarah Park Designs!)











January might be one of my least favorite months, but today the sun is shining, I woke up in a warm home, I’ve read the Word, and I’m working on films for a business the Lord has so ABUNDANTLY blessed us with.  Days are dark and seasons might be cold and dim, but there is One who never changes.  Amen.


Monday, January 5, 2015

JANUARY | GOALS


If you don’t follow me on Instagram, you probably don’t know that our house is a mess of piles, newspaper, and boxes.  This is officially my last Monday morning in our home before we load all our belongings onto a truck and drive away from our first little home.  This week is going to be busy and full, but at the same time I want to find rest and joy as we soak in these last few days of our first home together.  January is my least favorite month and I really struggle through going back to routines after the holidays and getting back into a groove.  Throw in moving and re-adjusting to a new place into the mix and I’m just a big ball of anxious nerves.  But, I’m not here to talk about the house (one day soon!), I want to go ahead and get some January goals out there so that I have some accountability!  

If you go back a few posts, I talked all about my dreams for this year and my overall goals.  Last year I only made 5 big goals and then made “little” goals every month that would help me to achieve my overall goals.  It worked really well for me and I want to do that again this year! Here’s another look at my overall goals:


With those in mind, here are my goals for this month! 

1.  Make one lifestyle change that will allow me to build relationships with people.  I’ve been thinking about making it a habit to work at starbucks on Monday or Friday every week.  That way I am consistent there and might be around the same baristas every week and could build relationships so that I could one day share the gospel. 

2.  This month I want to completely put my phone away every evening when Tyler gets home from work.  With such big changes in where we live, I want to make sure I’m investing in him and not allowing distractions and stress to make me have less grace. 

3.  Have a few social media free days where I spend all my free time in prayer and in the Word. 

4.  Organize our business for the new year.  The more organized we are the better we can love and serve those we work with!

5.  Make more intentional, health conscious decisions about what I eat and begin some kind of exercise routine.  I want to be better about eating a healthy breakfast and drinking less coffee.  I know the freezing cold winter isn’t a great time to start running, but I think it would be a great way for me to spend time with the Lord in prayer as we make some big changes this month. 

It’ll probably be a quiet week or two around here as we pack our last few boxes and make the move.  If you would, please say a prayer for us (and my anxiety, specifically. Ha!) as we make this transition.  We all know how well I do with change... The Lord is suuuuurrrreeeee putting me to the test. ;)